I believe every Christian parent desires to raise and train their children to be Godly. We spend a lot of time, tears and energy trying to control our kids so they end up loving and serving God with all their hearts, minds and souls. Right?
However, it’s been my experience that every parent goes through times when they just want to throw up their hands and toss in the towel when dealing with their teenage children. Many times we just feel helpless. Their raging hormones, irrational emotions and poor decision making drive us to a place where we feel totally out of control with no ideas on how to handle our seemingly out of control child. If you have lived through raising teenagers you have to admit that at some point in time you have been there.
Well, God has shown me a teaching that is contrary to basic “Church 101” doctrine that all good parents will raise godly children. I believe it is not our purpose to raise godly children but rather to bring them up as godly parents. Those children are not ours, they are on loan to us as guardians. Just like us, they are God’s children to deal with just like he deals with us. We as parents can second guess ourselves all day, “if only I had done this or spent more time doing that, my child would have taken a different path.” Well I believe that we are responsible to God to be godly parents, to set godly boundaries on our home and love our kids like a shepherd loves his sheep. The truth of the matter is, we just can’t control what our children decide to think, believe or act on. We can mentor them, talk to them and steer them but ultimately they are driving the boat.
In 1 Sam 2:12 the bible says that Eli the priest had two sons but that they were evil. Was that Eli’s fault? I don’t think so, Eli was a very godly priest. The sons made their own poor choices. King David’s son Absalom was totally rebellious to the point of David fleeing for his life. Was David a bad father? I don’t think so. My point is this: At some point in our child rearing, we have to acknowledge that our controlling is over and God’s sovereignty must be established in a child’s life. That’s a hard transition for a parent. We can’t blame ourselves for what our son or daughter has decided to do. All God requires of us is to be godly parents that reflect the grace and love of God out of our own lives and into theirs. We set godly boundaries in our home and around our kids. Then they make the decisions. Basically, they become reportable to God. For God’s discipline and for God’s calling. Does that mean we stop disciplining our children? Absolutely not. It just means that when the storm of troubles come in our families when dealing with our teenage kids, we don’t have to feel helpless or out of control. We can trust in the Lord and rely on Him to help change our children.
God led me to this promise recently and I wanted to share it with you. If you are in your own time of trouble, listen to God's promise and accept it as truth! It has helped Vicki and me feel much more at peace in our storms.
Ps. 107:26-31
27. "They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril, their courage melted away, they reeled and staggered like drunken men; they were at their wits end.
28. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble and he brought them out of their distress.
29. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.
30. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.
31. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his UNFAILING love and his wonderful deeds for men."
If the waves of the storm are crashing around you, don't panic but turn to the Lord and cry out to him. Tell him how you feel, tell him you are scared, tell him you need help, acknowledge to him that by yourself you can't make it and then just keep your eyes firmly focused on Jesus. God's word promises us that he will calm that storm. He didn't say it would go away, but it would quiet to a whisper.....so we could handle it.....then he guides us to where we need to be and we can be glad in heart.
Rock Hobbs